Wicklow-centric Meaning of Liff definitions #1

Newtownmountkennedy (n.)

A particularly randy and fecund ram which is responsible for siring most of the lambs in a given flock of sheep.

Let's erode the language even further!

When did actresses become 'actors?' I'm not being sexist, by any means, but we have a huge number of French-originated words in English which still retain the gender-specific endings, and they add a touch of élan to our boring old argot. Why try and get rid of them?

And where will it end?

Are waitresses now to be called waiters?
Princesses to be called princes?
Queens to be kings?
Ugly fat nagging trolls to be called 'my best mate?'

Paradigm Shifts

There have been two great paradigm shifts in my (depressingly long) software development career:

Structured programming to OO and RPC-style services to Enterprise Service Bus (NServiceBus specifically).

The former happened about 20 years ago, the latter, 20 days ago.

My interest in enterprise systems design has finally been rekindled.

An open letter to a pain in the ass.

Dear Pain-In-The-Ass,

Thank you for the clarification on how often I am allowed to be unwell during a given year.

You would think that after having lived in this body for the better part of forty-six years, I would be equipped to decide whether I am unwell or not, or whether the excruciating level of pain I am feeling, as a vertebral disc rubs against a nerve in my spine, is of such magnitude that I really shouldn’t try and get out of bed. Seemingly not. I believe certain well-adjusted people are capable of making such diagnoses, but I, it would appear, have to visit a doctor to be told I am too infirm to work - and pay handsomely for said diagnosis.

As regards the difference between certified and uncertified sick-leave, you might also expect that being a professional man in his middle-years from a respectable background, I might be taken at my word when I say I am too unwell to attend the office. That would be a dreadful mistake. It’s obvious that I am a dishonest and utterly untrustworthy rogue, who should be compelled to present documentary evidence of his illness, since, without it, I was plainly swanning around the countryside with my ne’er-do-well cohorts, or lounging at home watching the television set, and laughing up my sleeve at the poor saps who were stupid enough to attend the office and do a day’s work.

To conclude, I have no doubt that such ‘by-the-book’ adherence to company policy has a phenomenally beneficial effect on the morale of the staff. Personally speaking, your email has inspired me to new heights of loyalty and fanaticism to the company cause. For example, I shall henceforth arrive at my desk at exactly 9am, take a lunch break at exactly 1pm, returning at exactly 2pm, and shall log out and leave for the day at exactly 5.30pm. The unprofessional and shoddy approach I used to have of arriving at 7.45am, eating at my desk, and hanging around like a bad smell until 6.00 or 6.30pm was doing me no favours, and I have to thank you for putting me on the straight-and-narrow.

Your humble servant,

Michael Synnott.

'Free' schools

I just flicked on Sky News to get my daily dose of western-centric, heavily-censored propaganda, and saw this:

"Some of England's first free schools are set to open ...
"The 24 schools ... will allow parents, teachers and charities to teach their own curriculum. Schools must teach English, maths and science. RELIGIOUS EDUCATION IS ALSO REQUIRED."

WHAT?

In what way could these schools be deemed 'free' with that last mandate?

*Cough* Hack *Cough*

I tried two new jobs recently; one to cut back some undergrowth with a machete, and the other to break into a bank's computer, but, to be honest, I couldn't hack either.

Geek Thought for the Day

Software development needs to become less of an art and more of an engineering discipline.