One of the funniest stories I heard in years was related by a colleague in Pocket Kings (Full Tilt Poker). I can't remember the exact details, so I'm paraphrasing here somewhat.
My colleague, Mike, used to work with an edgy and stressed character who was always threatening to go postal and shoot everyone in the office. One day, when they were all at lunch, they got round to asking the guy who he would shoot in the office, and in what order.
He replied, "Well, the first person I'm going to drill is that fucking Peter guy."
"What?! But Peter is your best friend in the office. You two are practically inseparable. Why would you shoot him first - or at all?"
"Well, for two reasons: One, I wouldn't want him to witness the carnage, and go through the fear of knowing he was next; and two, I think it'd send a clear message that I'm deadly fucking serious!"
