Paradigm Shifts

There have been two great paradigm shifts in my (depressingly long) software development career:

Structured programming to OO and RPC-style services to Enterprise Service Bus (NServiceBus specifically).

The former happened about 20 years ago, the latter, 20 days ago.

My interest in enterprise systems design has finally been rekindled.

An open letter to a pain in the ass.

Dear Pain-In-The-Ass,

Thank you for the clarification on how often I am allowed to be unwell during a given year.

You would think that after having lived in this body for the better part of forty-six years, I would be equipped to decide whether I am unwell or not, or whether the excruciating level of pain I am feeling, as a vertebral disc rubs against a nerve in my spine, is of such magnitude that I really shouldn’t try and get out of bed. Seemingly not. I believe certain well-adjusted people are capable of making such diagnoses, but I, it would appear, have to visit a doctor to be told I am too infirm to work - and pay handsomely for said diagnosis.

As regards the difference between certified and uncertified sick-leave, you might also expect that being a professional man in his middle-years from a respectable background, I might be taken at my word when I say I am too unwell to attend the office. That would be a dreadful mistake. It’s obvious that I am a dishonest and utterly untrustworthy rogue, who should be compelled to present documentary evidence of his illness, since, without it, I was plainly swanning around the countryside with my ne’er-do-well cohorts, or lounging at home watching the television set, and laughing up my sleeve at the poor saps who were stupid enough to attend the office and do a day’s work.

To conclude, I have no doubt that such ‘by-the-book’ adherence to company policy has a phenomenally beneficial effect on the morale of the staff. Personally speaking, your email has inspired me to new heights of loyalty and fanaticism to the company cause. For example, I shall henceforth arrive at my desk at exactly 9am, take a lunch break at exactly 1pm, returning at exactly 2pm, and shall log out and leave for the day at exactly 5.30pm. The unprofessional and shoddy approach I used to have of arriving at 7.45am, eating at my desk, and hanging around like a bad smell until 6.00 or 6.30pm was doing me no favours, and I have to thank you for putting me on the straight-and-narrow.

Your humble servant,

Michael Synnott.

'Free' schools

I just flicked on Sky News to get my daily dose of western-centric, heavily-censored propaganda, and saw this:

"Some of England's first free schools are set to open ...
"The 24 schools ... will allow parents, teachers and charities to teach their own curriculum. Schools must teach English, maths and science. RELIGIOUS EDUCATION IS ALSO REQUIRED."

WHAT?

In what way could these schools be deemed 'free' with that last mandate?

*Cough* Hack *Cough*

I tried two new jobs recently; one to cut back some undergrowth with a machete, and the other to break into a bank's computer, but, to be honest, I couldn't hack either.

Geek Thought for the Day

Software development needs to become less of an art and more of an engineering discipline.

If this offends you, you're exactly the fucking idiot I'm going after with this ...

I used to say that, although I'm not religious, I would be the first person to pick up a gun to go to war to fight for anyone's right to practise their religion. But I've changed my mind. Although I would happily fight and die for anyone's freedom, I wouldn't fight for anyone's right to practise religion. It'd be like fighting for someone's right to believe in a flat Earth. It's a superstitious anachronism that needs to go away.

If this offends you, you're exactly the fucking idiot I'm going after with this.

Vicious Imagery: More knob, vicar? When church renovations go awry

Vicious Imagery: More knob, vicar? When church renovations go awry: "I've seen some lovely renovations of former churches. However, you never know when the addition of a new feature - like, say, a mezzanine fl..."