Smells like obscene spirit.

I just let a disturbing fart that smells like the men's jacks under Busaras used to smell back in the late 70s. Deeply concerning. I hope my bollocks doesn't start smelling like the Eblana theatre - or the crabs* start doing shite John B. Keane plays.

* I don't have crabs.

You need Jesus in your life.

Have you accepted Jesus into your life? After much soul-searching and consideration, I'm delighted to say that I have. When I first heard the amazing stories about Jesus and his work, I thought they were just the exaggerated rumours of a scruffy transient. However, after gentle pressure from respected friends who also accepted Jesus, I decided to give him a try and, boy, do I feel blessed that I did! My garden has never looked so good - and what he doesn't know about winter vegetables you could write on the back of a stamp. There are very few Mexican horticulturalists in Ireland and I feel blessed and privileged to have Jesus in my home, in my life and in my garden. Best of all, he's a critical thinker and a confirmed atheist so I can actually have some sensible fucking conversations with him.